Can I have a few honest moments with you here?
Can I open up a bit about where I’m at?
My life has been particularly chaotic these past few weeks for various reasons and often the crazier things get, the more I get caught up in the crazy and I begin sinking in the mire of my own frustrations, weaknesses and lack of perfection. My faith is shaken, my doubts arise, my heart becomes troubled. My husband and my boys feel the brunt of my stress. I allow sin to win and blame it on being tired and overwhelmed, then I sink deeper as the shame arises for doing just that. My prayer life suffers as I sit with a racing mind and guilt ridden heart…
I’ve had a bit of a writers block… I haven’t felt I have much to say.
When my life feels out of control and my emotions begin to go with it, when my weakness and humanity become put on display for all and anyone to see…when my imperfections become so completely evident…
When I know God is sovereign and in control but wonder how he sees me in the midst of all the chaos I tend to create in my own life, I wonder how much he really loves me, and if he’ll be able to use this prideful, fallen, exhausted, often grumpy mama…
Now, maybe you’re thinking. “Girl, stop feeling guilty, life is crazy, you have three little boys, don’t be so hard on yourself. You could be doing way worse. Take a deep breath. Go for a walk. Give yourself a break. Take a hot bath. Eat some chocolate. Do something you love. You’ll feel better.”
I could do those things all day. And there’s nothing wrong with these remedies… (cause well, in my opinion, there is NEVER a bad time for chocolate) but these will not ultimately offer relief or redemption or strength or hope. They will not be my long term cure. They will not lift the weight of the guilt from my shoulders. These things will simply take my mind off of my problems rather than help me face them head on. When I’m weighted down with guilt at the end of a long stumble-filled day, it’s not a bubble bath or piece of the smoothest dark chocolate that will sooth my soul.
No…
What I need as I’m lying in bed at night, running through every way I failed that day… is not to just “give myself a break”…no, what I need is grace. What I need is forgiveness and mercy. What I need is to acknowledge that I messed up… but that I’m not defeated. What I need is the strength to get up in the morning and start again… I need an Advocate before the God I want to honor. I need Someone to wipe away these imperfections. I need Someone to stand in the gap between a sinful me and a Holy God, I need Someone to mediate. I need God to see the righteousness of that Advocate when he looks at me. I need to know that hope and joy are not lost to me. I need my Creator’s love poured over and wiping away my failures. Often in these times, I feel myself begging God as David did in Psalm 51:
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
There are times my heart feels stained, my spirit struggles, I feel far from God and His Holy Spirit, lacking joy and a steadfast spirit.
But as my heart cries out just like David’s…
One resounding name comes to mind, a name that reminds me that in all my strivings, I can never earn this hope, this joy, this grace, this strength… but they are free for the taking and mine in abundance if I cling to the one name that makes the answer to this prayer complete.
There’s nothing I can do but think on and speak of Jesus Christ.
Jesus Christ, a simple, Jewish carpenter from a small village in Palestine, nestled in the hills southwest of the Sea of Galilee, who rocked this world to its core.
Jesus Christ, fully man, yet fully God.
From the glories of heaven, yet walking among us. Living perfectly and overcoming the temptations we keep falling to. Loving, healing, speaking life-giving truth to a world who would nail him to a cross for doing just that, then crying out for their forgiveness even as he struggled to pull air into his lungs.
Taking on every sin he never committed and every sin we ever would… for the love of us and the glory of his Father. And then… crushing that death, he overcame it and paid the debt that had always been ours to pay.
God is just, evil should not go unpunished, (we’re lying to ourselves if we think we’ve never done an evil thing)… yet rather than releasing that wrath on us, he sent his Son who willingly took our place, so that he might shower his mercy and grace on us. Those are the means he took to reveal his glory and his inconceivable love toward us. All of this some 2,000 years ago, yet planned from before the foundations of the earth.
[And as a side note to the unbeliever: You may doubt all of this… but you should know that this account is well documented and it is no fable. This man Jesus was as real as any other historical figure and you’d be just as foolish to doubt him as to doubt any other. More than 500 attested to seeing him alive after his crucifixion and many went to their deaths for it without recanting. No law in the land would doubt so many eye witnesses bearing testimony to the same account, especially ones desperate enough to give their very lives rather than deny what they saw and knew to be true.
For a look at what happens when an atheist lawyer tests the truth of the resurrection, consider checking out Harvard Professor of Law, Simon Greenleaf’s: “The Testimony of the Evangelists: The Gospels Examined by the Rules of Evidence.”]
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1684224047/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_glt_fabc_ZE284D87X5VD2X1Z19BP
So, anyway, whether you believe it or not, I’m sure you’ve heard this. It’s the Gospel. It’s the good news. It’s the story of the hope, the saving grace, the mercy we can receive because of one Man.
For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. (1 Tim 2:5)
See, I can talk at you all day about a million different things, different opinions, different viewpoints. I can offer you tips, tricks, and ideas. I can joke, I can throw in some satire, some sarcasm, I can share a little of my life story.
But there are days and weeks where I feel I have little to offer anyone. I think we all go through days like that.
But every day, every hour, every moment… is a good time to talk about Jesus. It’s a good time to be reminded and remind those around us of the hope he gives that every living soul so desperately needs. We need to remember that while we should always strive for holiness… we must also trust Jesus for his completed work in our place, because He is the one that will steady us when we stumble (as we certainly will) and has born and crushed the guilt that we should have carried.
He is the reason we can get up every morning and try again. By trusting Christ we aren’t living each day to earn God’s favor, we’re living each day knowing we have it and we simply want to please the one who has shown us such love and unmerited favor. It is not a weight upon our shoulders but rather an easing of our burdens.
Jesus Christ is the rest our soul longs for in all our strivings and he says to us in Matt. 11:28-30:
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
So today, I want to talk about Jesus, just Jesus.
Some days we feel like we’re running on empty and haven’t a thing to offer… but let’s remember the line of that well-loved hymn:
Nothing in my hand I bring,
Simply to thy cross I cling;
My Family Freedom 