WE Are Expecting: It Takes Two, Baby!

I remember…I was nearing the end of my first pregnancy. We were sitting in church one evening as our pastor was asking for any praise reports that anyone might like to share. Without hesitation, my husband popped his hand in the air and gladly reported that we were 36 weeks along and how thankful he was for my health as well as the baby’s as we headed into the final month of pregnancy. Our pastor looked little surprised. “WE?” He said as he laughed somewhat incredulously. It seemed he’d never thought of pregnancy this way, and I was a bit shocked because, in my mind and experience, I felt like it was the most accurate way to describe who had been pregnant this whole time. It certainly hadn’t just been me. Goodness gracious, no. Those two little lines those seven months ago spoke of a journey to come that wouldn’t just hugely impact myself but also my sweet husband in more ways than either of us could have ever imagined.

Everyone’s Situation is Different

Now I realize, this isn’t everyone situation. Maybe some people scoff at the idea because they felt very alone in their pregnancy. Maybe they were single, or just didn’t feel supported by the father of their child. I’m well aware that pregnancy is not always a we thing. I’m thankful for the mamas who have persevered to bring life into this world under difficult circumstances, with or without support. I hope I’m clear there. But I just wanted to give a shout out to the guys who have done pregnancy as much as a guy is able. Because I didn’t do pregnancy alone and I know of so many women who didn’t either and I just want to give the guys some credit for that…cause I don’t think credit is always given where it is due.

Mama Gets All the Love

Understandably, we ladies are often checked after, asked about, and loved on as we spend nine months growing a baby. And goodness, we need it! But I’ve sometimes wondered if we shouldn’t be checking on dad a little more than we are. That nine month journey and into the newborn stage can be pretty stressful on him too, especially if he truly desires to be part of this beautiful but insane experience as well.

So, as I think on my own experience, and that of many women I know, I want thank the guys for all the beautiful stories I’ve seen and heard from women who’s husbands were right there with them all the way. I want to send a little love to the daddies that “do” pregnancy.

So Here’s To You, Daddy

Here’s to you for wanting a baby. For being willing to try for him or her in the first place…and for every child after! Even though it can be frightening…even knowing you’ll have a responsibility to provide for and shape a little human, and that’s a scary thought. Thank you for wanting the blessing that many men do not.

Here’s to you for rejoicing with your wife the moment she told you, or showed you those two beautiful, scary little lines. Maybe you truly felt over the moon with excitement. Maybe you felt overcome with the pressure of it. Maybe you felt terrified of the unknown or if you’ve been there, the knowledge of how hard it can be at times. Maybe you felt all of these things. But thank you for reassuring your wife that you shared her joy. That this was huge for you too. That no matter what would come, you were jumping in, all in, right along with her.

Here’s to you for surviving that first trimester. For holding back her hair as she puked for the third time that morning. For taking over food prep for her (which could vary moment by moment), for yourself, or for your other children. For providing that extra time and wrangling the toddler so she can grab a nap…or two. For getting up and going to work all day, to then come home and carry the extra load for your exhausted, nauseous, emotional wife. (So, I have super rough first trimesters if you can’t tell…maybe this isn’t everyone). But regardless, your life generally changes somehow during this time, so thank you for rolling with it!

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Here’s to you for how often you might be totally confused by your wife’s hormonal roller coaster of emotions but you choose to love her anyway…for taking a moment and reminding yourself she probably didn’t mean what she just said and loving her like Christ by giving grace. I distinctly remember a conversation between my husband and friend of ours who had their first baby eight months before we did. His deep words of advice were as follows, “When your wife is pregnant and emotional, just hug her and give her ice cream.” Truer words were hardly ever spoken.

Here’s to you for telling your wife how beautiful she is as her belly grows and her body changes…and for meaning it. For truly finding her attractive because she’s carrying your child and you love her all the more for it. Thank you for complimenting her and affectionately rubbing the belly that is quickly taking on enough stretch marks to plan a road trip. It’s often a struggle for us to change so much and we need that more than you know.

Here’s to you for listening to her many plans, thoughts, and ideas. For listening to her excitement, uncertainty, joys and fears. For reassuring her and sharing in all the feelings. Maybe you don’t have all the answers, but just listening and being there is PRICELESS.

Here’s to you for running to the store at 2 A.M. because she absolutely had to have whatever it was she happened to be craving, or for finishing that food she had to have but now can’t stand. The food struggle is real and accommodating husbands make us feel so loved.

Here’s to you for riding the labor roller coaster…is this it? No. Well, maybe..no. Or maybe for jumping out of bed in the middle of the night and rushing around to get everything together to head to the hospital and letting it go unsaid that you’re hoping and praying she doesn’t have the baby right there in the car…because you don’t know how to deliver a baby and it would ruin the seats. Thank you for telling her again and again that everything was alright.

Here’s to you for holding her hand, for breathing with her, for forgiving her if she snaps, for holding her when she’ll let you and graciously backing away when she needs space. Whether in a labor room at the hospital, at home in a tub, or on the O.R. table. Thank you for putting aside your own fears, uncertainty and exhaustion to be a rock through hers.

Here’s to you for grinning like a fool and having all the feelings when that screaming bundle of joy comes into the world, for being as overwhelmed as she is, for gratefully reaping the reward of so many months of preparation. A mothers joy is a beautiful thing, but no more beautiful than yours.

Here’s to you for telling your wife how proud you are of her. For stepping back and humbly allowing the focus and attention to rest on her after her months of hard work and hours of labor. For making her feel like she can conquer the world because she just worked so hard to bring life into it. My favorite part of giving birth (although they’ve been c-sections by necessity), is the look in my husbands eyes when its all said and done. The love and admiration he shows is so rewarding and makes every moment worth it.

Here’s to you for telling your wife again and again how gorgeous she is…saggy belly, swollen face, tired eyes and the list goes on. No one needs to tell you she doesn’t look like she did on your honeymoon…because to you it doesn’t matter. Thank you for finding her beautiful for who she is and for what she’s done, stretch marks and all.

Here’s to you for surviving the newborn stage. For those sleepless nights that come, even while you still have to get up and go to work. Most men can’t afford to take a ton of time off, so thank you for helping your wife to heal and recover, for getting up after long nights with a newborn and heading off to work to support the family you’ve so lovingly helped to create.

Here’s to you for proving wrong a culture that says all men are shallow, or not necessary, or unintelligent, or scumbags. Thank you for being good men, good husbands, good daddies.

Here’s to you for doing pregnancy with your wife. It’s needful. It’s necessary. It’s priceless. So thank you.