An Open Letter to the Steadfast Sufferer

To my dear, suffering friend:

I’m writing this letter to you. The suffering one. You know who you are. You are one who has suffered greatly…you’ve suffered in unimaginable, astronomical, unbelievable ways. You’ve suffered in ways that, had someone told you beforehand what was coming, you’d never think you’d survive it.

You…the one who has suffered the loss of material goods to natural disaster, and you know it’s temporal, but you lost many things you held dear and your heart aches all the same. For every memory lost, every photo forever gone, every precious sentimental piece gone, you’ve cried that many tears and more.

You…the one who has suffered the unfathomable and painful loss of a child…or children. Whether you lost them to sickness or a sudden tragedy, they were here one day and gone the next and there was nothing you could do. They say no one wants to bury a child and you know that truth all too well. The one or ones you thought would always be there have vanished and left a space that on this side of heaven will never be filled.

You…the one who has watched their dearest loved ones suffer or die from cancer and disease. Or that stroke took away or changed forever the person you knew you so well.

You…the one who feels they’ve seen it all. You and your family have been struck by disaster and tragedy of all kinds again and again. It seems time and again you are hit with emotional pain, physical suffering, or financial and material loss and you’d give the world to move past this phase of your life that seems painfully unending.

You…the one I am not conjuring up in my imagination. You know these things are real because you see yourself here. I’m not making up any of these circumstances, though I do wish they were exaggerations. I’m speaking to situations I’ve seen happen in real time. Real people are on my mind and heart as I write this. This is personal. I’m speaking to you, and my heart has gone out to you so many times.

But are you wondering why? Why am I writing this to you?

Let me tell you. And you will know for sure that this letter is for you as I further describe your situation.

I am writing to you…

You…who after losing all you owned, though devastated, were quick to openly praise God that it was things and not people you lost and to trust in his provision to see you through and provide for your needs. You placed your trust in the God who says: “Heaven and earth will pass away, but my word will not pass away.” (Matthew 24:35)

You…who lost children, suffering one of life’s greatest heartbreaks and yet praised God through the unfathomable pain. Entrusting that little life to the one who gives and takes away, to the ever faithful Father, taking your hope in a better day, a day with no more pain and no more tears. Even while asking why again and again, you trusted God would use your tattered and broken heart for his purposes. You reminded me that: “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

You…who have sat helpless and watched someone you love suffer as your heart breaks for them…but also speak of the God who has purpose in all things, who is sovereign and good, who is the ultimate healer, who is the great comforter. You remembered our Lord said: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  And so you’ve said: “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

You…who after each and every tragedy and struggle…outwardly speak of the God who is merciful and is never anything but good. You have clung to God even as you have cried out in utter despair and frustration. You’ve screamed and you’ve cried, but you never left the comfort of his everlasting arms. You stayed because you knew: “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Psalm 73:26)

 You…you who walk ahead of me and are all of us at some point and in some way. Because living in a fallen world, especially as followers of Christ, there is no question that we will suffer. Some will suffer more than others, yes, but everyone suffers. Jesus made that very clear when he gave us his comforting promise: “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

I’m not writing this to you to put the weight of being a great example on your shoulders; I’m not writing this to cause you to boast in yourself, or to embarrass you, or to make you think about every moment you suffered where you didn’t handle it so perfectly…

I’m writing this to you to give glory to God and to thank and encourage you for being an example of his good grace at work, for allowing us to see the peace he can place on the suffering and devastated heart that surpasses understanding. To thank you for following in the footsteps of the greatest sufferer of all time, our Lord Jesus Christ. I want you to know that every time you claimed the goodness of our God in the midst of your hurt, even in those moments you almost didn’t or perhaps you doubted your own words even as you spoke… it encouraged me and reminded me of the truth of God’s word when it says: “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

I want to encourage you because every time you spoke more greatly of God than your struggle, it helped me not be so afraid…it helped me see that when God is truly at work in a person’s heart, there is no tragedy too heart wrenching, no hurt too deep, no pain so incredibly great, that his grace, comfort, strength and goodness are not greater still.

Regardless of whether a great personal tragedy strikes or whether this is simply speaking to the tumultuous days we are living in, the great unknowns from day to day in our current climate that can cause such fear to rise up in our hearts…please know, beloved, suffering friend, that your deep struggle has purpose. God promises this is so (Romans 8:28). If by your suffering you feel you have helped no one and struggled in vain, please know, by God’s good grace in your life, you’ve helped, encouraged, emboldened and strengthened me. You have lived out true hope in real time. The hope of a good God, who came and lived as we do, suffering all but sinning never, giving up his very life so that one day our earthly suffering would be forever vanquished. It’s the only hope that lasts.

And so “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹ persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; ¹⁰ always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)

Dear suffering friend, by God’s grace and for his glory, I want to encourage you and lift you up…

Not because you suffered…

But because by God’s sweet grace and unwavering goodness, through every tear you have shed, you remain whole, steadfast, unwavering, and ultimately unbroken.

And it is a blessing and call to courage for every believer blessed enough to walk along beside you.

Thank you, dear suffering friend, and glory to the everlasting God of all comfort and everlasting grace.