MN to TN: Is This The Right Path?

Oh my word, y’all.

I can’t tell you how many times over the past weeks I’ve gone from: “Wow! Look what just happened! God is opening doors and reassuring my heart that this is the right move to make. So cool!” to “Ummmm, what in the world just happened? That was not in the game plan. Yep, we’re insane. Let’s maybe just stay here and never leave.”

See, there have been some moments that have gone beautifully, like selling our house in a weekend, or seeing God provide financially, or feeling the support of so many friends and family… it’s all been very bolstering and encouraging.

But… but then there are those other moments…

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The moment I heard my husband’s pained voice on the other end of the line letting me know he put his back out at work and was having a hard time walking. Wait, what? Now? With a month left at his job, every hour needful, and a house to pack and move? If ever the ability to lift heavy stuff was important, ummm… now would be it! A hurt back was absolutely not part of the game plan! Thankfully he’s on the mend but while weeks of chiropractor, massage, and PT have certainly helped… it’s also cut into valuable work hours we weren’t planning to lose. Not to mention, Derek is a crazy hard worker who wanted to give his boss all he had in his final weeks… a torn back muscle complicates matters a bit.

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Oh, and there was that moment last weekend when we found the PERFECT fixer upper (My husbands dream) in the PERFECT neighborhood (ya know, out in the country with a super big yard but with lots of nice houses nearby), and for the PERFECT PRICE! Back to back showings, our realtor told us, multiple offers, but ours won the day! Yess! We signed the paperwork, and started planning our beautiful lives in our PERFECT house! No more scanning Zillow and Realtor.com. No more scrolling through house after house! The search was over, we had a closing date (which just happened to line up perfectly with our closing date on our current house. Score!) Now we just had to get there…

Then came that moment where we had that little thing called an inspection…upon which our closing was contingent… and found our fixer upper was much more of a tearer downer than we had originally anticipated and there are simply some things that can’t be fixed. Welp, that dream got crushed… and while we were thankful we didn’t get stuck with it… I won’t lie… we were pretty devastated.

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There are those moments with my mom and dad and my heart aches because, although I’m excited for this new adventure… I don’t want to leave my parents behind and it nearly kills me sometimes. My mom was helping me pack my kitchen yesterday and moments like that make me realize how much I rely on her for the big and little things in life and though I’ve done it before, it’s hard to think about going back to not having her around for all of them. Squeezing those coffee dates in with my dad (we’ve done coffee dates since I started drinking insanely sweet gas station cappuccinos when I was 12)… knowing we only have a few left. Watching my boys and knowing they don’t really understand right now how much they’ll miss their Oma and Papaw. It’s not easy.

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The moments spent this past weekend, just me and my big brother out hiking, a last sibling get away… who knows when the chance will come again? It was crazy fun and it was a blessing but it was bitter-sweet. Moments like that are hard because I don’t want to move so far from one of my best friends in the world. I’ve never been more than a days drive from him and his frequent companionship is one I’ll miss.

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Those moments I snap at my children or my husband because my mind is racing, I’m stressed, I have a lot to do in a little time, I feel needed by everyone in the house… and my sinful heart gets the better of me. I’m not treating this like an adventure… I’m treating it like a crisis. I’m not treating my family as a blessing but rather a burden. I’m allowing my circumstances to control my attitude.

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. (Prov 25:28)

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There have simply been some moments that have made me second guess myself. Is the decision still right if following through is hard? Is the path still a wise one if there are a few bumps along the way? Am I doing the right thing if I make mistakes as I go? If God closes a door, is really going to open that proverbial window?

But see, I said it in my last blog and I have to keep reminding myself: I think often the best route to take in big life decisions is to simply take a step and glorify God as you go, rather than waiting for each step to be laid out perfectly before you. (Cause that ain’t never gon’ happen.)

Sometimes it’s obvious whether one option in life might be better than another. Sometimes an unwise path is apparent and should certainly be avoided.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. (Ephesians 5:15-17)

But in so many life decision we come to: do I move here, or there? Do I go or do I stay? Do I take this job or that job? Buy this house or that house? … I don’t think the question should necessarily be, “which path is the perfect one?” because no path is perfect. We live in a sinful world and every journey we take is going to have it’s own flaws and there will be missteps and messiness along the way.

I think the better question to ask ourselves and a better prayer to pray might be “how can I walk in obedience to God’s word with a kingdom purpose and a willingness to be sanctified and to bless others on this path I’m about to take?”

God gifts us with direction that is applicable to every believer no matter their circumstance… clear and simple (though not always easy) commands that each of us can find peace and confidence in, even when our path isn’t always clear and simply laid out before us.

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Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. (1 Thess 5:16-18)

He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:8)

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. (Matt 6:33)

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I find the need to remind myself of this again, and again, and again these days. Every single day should be a walk of faith for the believer in the big moments and the small… and this just happens to be one of the big ones. God is faithful and he is sanctifying us… what more could I ask for? What more could I want?

I’m not saying it’s been easy to to keep this mindset. Something has happened in just the last few days, causing a few unexpected complications… it started with my oldest waking up in the middle of the night with an awful cough, gasping for breath… and it led to a twist in the story that has offered challenges all it’s own.

But I’m still watching it unfold so that’s a story for next week…