Our Story: Happily Ever After

PART 10

And there he was, a day early, wanting to surprise me as much as I wanted him to.

He sauntered over with a big “I gotcha” grin and wrapped his arms around me.

I stated the obvious. “You’re early!”

“Well, I had to leave some mystery in it, didn’t I?” I was so thankful that meant as much to Derek as it did to me.

“Ok,” Derek stepped back, cleared his throat and began. “Bethany, in the beginning I told you I’d kinda takin’ a likin’ to ya. But now I’m in love with you and I can’t imagine spending my–

Derek was suddenly cut off by my mom popping in.

“Hi! I just wanted to grab the keys from you, I think you have a ride home.” She grinned and snuck between the two of us to grab the keys. In her defense she was completely unaware that Derek had begun his proposal and was simply trying to head out and leave us alone to have our moment. And while it might have made the moment slightly awkward, I personally think the moments that don’t go perfectly are the most memorable and we always get a good laugh looking back.

My mom hurried out of the store and Derek stood there with a stunned look on his face.

“Um. Ok. I guess– I guess I’ll just start over.” Poor guy.

“Alright… Bethany, in the beginning I told you that I’d kinda takin’ a likin’ to ya. But now I’m in love with you and I can’t imagine spending my life without you. I chose to meet you in a bookstore because, well, we’re starting a new chapter in our lives.”

Is that adorable or what?

And this whole time I kept thinking: Oh, my word! I’ve waited for this moment my whole life. I just want to soak this up and make it last forever. It’s funny how it can be so hard to grab ahold of the most special moments when you’re living them.

Derek then dropped to one knee. Even though we were in a public place, no one was watching and I was actually ok with that. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the most beautiful ring I’d ever seen and held out in front of me.

“Bethany Mustian, I love you. Will you marry me?”

That was the first time he’d ever said he loved me. I giggled a little and knew full well what I would say.

“Yes, I will.”

Smiling bigger than ever, he got up and gave me a big hug. We were sticking with our choice not to kiss until we got married, so hugs it was. I put out my hand so he could slip the ring on… and oh my word, I couldn’t have chosen anything more perfect if I’d picked it out for myself.

We spent the rest of the weekend going on dates, singing and playing guitar and visiting with my parents. I was really taken aback that for the first time since I’d known him, I actually melted into his embrace and wanted to be near him, well, constantly. It was the most beautiful feeling.

5 Months In-between

In the five months between then and the wedding, we saw each other five times. But it was a beautiful season. God was so gracious to me and had lessened my pain greatly. I’d taken gluten out of my diet for stomach issues but was beyond pleasantly surprised to realize that it also calmed the swelling in my joints and the constant pain throughout my body, not to mention it had helped me lose the extra weight I’d been carrying. From this fact and a few tests, my doctor finally figured out that it’s likely that I have fibromyalgia but there was no reason to pursue the diagnoses further if it could be controlled by diet and exercise. And thankfully, it has been. As hard as it was to be in pain for so long, my future would have looked much different without it, and I’m grateful God took me on the path he did.

The next month, Derek and my brother, Sean, were going down to Mississippi to meet a group to head to Honduras for a missions trip. I rode along to spend time with friends in Mississippi while they were gone. (When I told him we were getting married, Sean informed me that he’d always hoped we’d get back together. He said if it hadn’t happened by our MS trip, he planned to fake a headache and lay down in the back to leave Derek and I lots of driving time to “chat” and perhaps reignite a flame. But, obviously, his sneaky antics ended being unnecessary.) My friend and maid of honor, Allison did a beautiful engagement shoot for us while we were down there.

Derek and I saw each other again in June when he surprised me for my 21st birthday. He’d told me time and again he wouldn’t be able to come. My big day came. I went out to the farmers market and lunch with friends and had just gotten home when my mom told me something had come in for my birthday and it was back in my room. I went in looking for a box on the bed but instead was scared to death by a big man coming at me from my closet. But once again, it only took a split second for me to realize it was my big man, and he totally made my day. I was further surprised when Sean showed up from South Dakota that evening. He hadn’t planned to come until mom told him Derek was coming and he figured if Derek could drive eight hours for my big day, he could drive four. I love them both dearly and felt utterly spoiled.

Then Sean and I went back to Arnegard for the 4th of July to see Derek and our other friends. Just to keep things on the up and up, rather than stay at Derek’s apartment, Sean and I planned to stay with some friends across town (in Arnegard that means about 1/4 mile away). Anyway, a fun twist was put on the visit when my brother (who has had epilepsy since childhood), decided to go and have a pretty intense seizure which sent us to the ER when he wouldn’t fully pull out of it. They sent us home eventually but things became further complicated when we realized the house where we were going to stay was going to be a bit loud since there would be quite a few kids in the house. Sean has terrible headaches after a seizure, so that wouldn’t be best. No big deal, Sean could stay with Derek. The problem was that I had to stay with Sean since I was the only one who knew how to take care of him if he had any more issues. So basically, the first night I spent in Derek’s apartment consisted of my brother and I staying in Derek’s room so I could be nearby if he had any more seizures, while Derek slept in his recliner in the living room. Funny what life hands ya sometimes.

Then we saw each other later in July when Derek came for the 25th Anniversary party I was throwing for my parents. He saved my tush when he realized I’d only left about $20 in my budget to buy meat to grill for about 40 people. (I had no idea what anything cost at that stage of my life.) My sweet fiancé took me out and bought plenty of meat to go around and kept me from having to feed everyone Vienna sausages for the anniversary dinner. Bless his heart. Then he and I took off down to North Carolina so I could meet his family and do some wedding planning with my Mamaw. (Calm down now, we drove straight through the night without stopping and my dad probably had us on a stop watch going, knowing down to the second how long the trip should take.) That was a super fun trip and I felt much more prepared for my long distance wedding that was coming so quickly.

The last time we saw each other before the wedding was for a Tim Hawkins show in Fargo, ND. The only story I have for that one is that Derek nearly made us late when everyone else ordered burgers at the restaurant we stopped at for dinner and Derek thought a deep dish pizza was best… and it took over an hour for his order to appear. Good times.

The BIG Day!

There are not many seasons I would actually revisit in my life, but the two weeks surrounding my wedding, the week leading up to and the week after are certainly weeks I would relive again if I could. It was a week filled with so many beautiful memories. My bridesmaids were my three closest friends growing up. I’d known Alisha since preschool, Allison since middle school, and Christina was basically the younger sister I never had. It was lovely to get to spend time with them all together.

(Most of my Minnesota friends weren’t able to make it down for the wedding, but they threw me the best Bachelorette Party right before I left and their support was so bolstering to me throughout the months of wedding planning and excitement.)

Mom and I took care of so many of the details beforehand that by the time we got in the car to head down to North Carolina for the wedding, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and felt nothing but excitement. The few days leading up to the wedding were filled with so many friends and family and all the decorating and preparations and it was just so much fun.

The day of the wedding arrived and the girls and I met at the church to start getting ready. My friend Jamie and her mom had come down to do my hair and makeup as a wedding gift. That morning was bustling and crazy as Alisha and Allison ran off to find coffee for a much needed caffeine kick. It was everything it should have been as we did our hair and makeup and got all dolled up.

I’d often heard of bridezillas and did all I could do avoid being “her”. My mom had reminded me that how I handled the mishaps of that special day, for there would surely be a few, would be entirely up to me. I could roll with the punches or be run over by them.

There were only two moments where I was tempted to lose it. The first was when my mom let me know that there had been a misunderstanding with the cake and it was nothing like what I had ordered. I remember looking at my mom for second and then just saying. “Ok.” And I honestly wasn’t really upset. It was just a cake after all and no one cares half as much about it as the bride. My next “moment” was when I was getting ready to put my dress on, within the hour before the ceremony, and realized I’d left the slip for it back at my grandparents house, which was 15 minutes away. I do remember feeling panic and frustration for a few moments there, but some kind soul went for it and I was dressed and ready with plenty of time. Phew!

The wedding was beautiful. Derek and I didn’t do a “first look” before the wedding. I didn’t want him to see me until I was coming down the aisle. I’d always wanted that moment. So with soft Celtic instrumental music playing in the background, I walked down the aisle on my dads arm… I’d dreamt of this moment my entire life… and here it was. I think part of what was so amazing was that I was walking with my dad, toward my soon to be husband, with my brother standing beside as he was going to open in prayer and offer a gospel message. It was so neat to be surrounded by the men I loved and who loved me most. (Derek’s grandfather was supposed to also take part in the service, but sadly he got a serious infection in his knee and was unable to be at the wedding. He was dearly missed.)

Almost everything about the ceremony went perfectly. My brother presented the gospel, my dad officiated, Alisha, sang “Love Is Not A Fight,” by Warren Barfield, and it was really just a beautiful, Christ centered time of worship and commitment. God had so laid on my heart my need to spend my life with Derek, that saying my vows seemed to flow right into what I already knew was true. Derek teared up a little when he repeated his vows. And let me tell you, I thought that was the most beautiful thing. I’ve seen men give their vows almost woodenly (probably due to nerves, truth be told). But the most heartfelt vows I’ve heard came from my husband and I love that fact.

If I could change one thing about the ceremony, it would be this… I’d have had someone a little more technologically savvy in the sound box. The ceremony was at my grandparents church, which was lovely, but the elderly gentleman in the soundbox didn’t quite understand my requests for the music in various parts of the ceremony. My wedding director finally went up to try to help since there were obvious difficulties.

See, I’d had it all planned out. The song Kiss Me by Sixpence None The Richer would be playing when Derek and I shared our first kiss. It was going to be a movie worthy moment and I was psyched. But when the moment came… there was no music. There was an awkward pause. So we kissed. For the first time. In front of everyone. With silence in the background. But alas, it was still beautiful and the music did begin playing just as we started walking back down the aisle, so it still ended on a happy note.

We found a beautiful spot for pictures with a tree that had turned a beautiful orange to add a splash of color to the photos. We took tons and had a blast. My photographer didn’t know that Derek and I hadn’t kissed until the alter. My grandmother explained that one to her later when she mentioned she was shocked at how often we kissed during the photo shoot. I was kinda proud of that.

We headed back to the church for a beautiful reception. I took a moment to thank everyone for coming. I thought I gave a pretty good speech, but looking back at the video I realized I let everyone know how “overwhelmed” I was by their love and support about 20 times in a two minute speech. This is why I write rather than give speeches. They are simply not my forte. But what I said was true. We were greatly blessed and encouraged by the love poured out on us that day by so many family and friends.

It was a truly beautiful day.

Remember that girl I told you about at the beginning of this tale? Well, this was her journey. God took a frustrated, exhausted, insecure little girl and graciously grew her into an imperfect but continuously sanctified young woman.

He taught her strength, not by taking the pain, but by teaching her to be content in it and to learn from it until he graciously gave her relief.

He taught her to be confident, not because of what she’d done but because of what He’d done in her… and not because of who she was but because of WHOSE she was.

He taught her kindness and how to be a friend by placing Godly young women in her life to come along beside her when she needed it most.

He taught her to listen and take advice from those wiser, by blessing her with two lovely people to give her life and teach her how to live it well.

He taught her to love. And one of the greatest ways he did that was by placing a young man in her life to love her as Christ loves his church. To welcome her with open arms when she’d turned away from his love so many other times. To love her even when she was so incredibly unlovable.

The beginning might have been a difficult part to tell, but that young woman is here, eight years, three little boys, two big moves, and lots of ups and downs later… still living a beautiful love story. She’s still learning and growing and being sanctified, but now alongside a loving husband who is doing just the same. And they are confident that, by remaining faithful to each other, focused on Christ, and dedicated to glorifying God more together than they ever could have apart…

they will truly live… happily ever after.